I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
