HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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