Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was confusing and full of hummus
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize