he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
