i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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