I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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