yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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