You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
