I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
