Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
