Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
