spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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