I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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