The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
