Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
