It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
