somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have post one night stand depression
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize