Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Boobs speak an international language.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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