New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
