I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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