I'm sorry my penis didn't work
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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