Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
