You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
