you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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