I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
