is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am one with the molecules
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
