So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
