Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So vagazzling was a success
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
