Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
