Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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