is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
