I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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