I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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