we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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