i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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