Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize