If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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