I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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