i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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