I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
