someone owes me an orgasm
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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