She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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