my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
