Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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