I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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