Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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