Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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