oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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