white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She even gives head with a lisp.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
