So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize