i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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