Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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