he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
