Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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