Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
