So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize