I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
