How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
