I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
