New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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