You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
