I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
