Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize