Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
