I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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