seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
