Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
did i just pee glitter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize