he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize